Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
