he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you would pick up someone in the library
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
