It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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