He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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