When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
