one two three fourrrrnication!
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
