You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
