WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
