No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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