we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Panties = found
Randomize
