why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize