i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
