Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
