my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
