He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
