somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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