I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
