just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
