She announced her abortion via fbk
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
