RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize