twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
