i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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