Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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