my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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