I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
