Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
