i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
