Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize