Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
