she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize