i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
