Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
