Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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