Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
