You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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