found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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