Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
