We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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