It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
