I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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