i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
