butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
my being single is dangerous.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Randomize
