also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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