I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
