it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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