I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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