So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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