White coat. Heels.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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