He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
My life is pants optional.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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