so explain again why im purple
no
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
