Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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