I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
