Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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