Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
