forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Say something about gay babies.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
