I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
