# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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