Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
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