I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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