we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize