is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
So here I am, sexting at work.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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