we have officially lost it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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