He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize
