I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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